Parenting Tip# 3124
What Can Happen at School?
When your child suddenly wants to spend a lot of time in their room, to be alone, something has happened.
On the bus, at school, on the playground or walk home. Something has happened and they are trying to handle it.
Find out what happened. You have to know your child, and each child is different. Find out. Children can be contemplating suicide, you don't know how they are responding to what happened. Other girls may have gathered around them in the locker room and said cruel and hurtful things. In the lunchroom, the hallways, before or after school - kids can say horrible things.
And children are still growing up, they don't know how to handle pressure. You can say all day long 'just ignore those kids' but you have to understand that words can hurt. There is a phrase 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me'. You may have heard this before. IT'S A LIE. Words can scar you for life.
This is what I do. I find a way to distract them and get them involved in something else - then as they calm down I encourage them to talk about it.
I remember one time my daughter came home and she went straight to her room 'Hey sweetheart, how was your day?' Nothing. Not even a word - just a forceful closing of her door.
I know my daughter likes dancing, so I turned up some music and started dancing while saying things like 'I am going to figure out this dance move' 'I am going to get this'. After a few minutes her door opened, and she looked out 'what are you doing?' 'learning this dance move' 'ugh...'
A few seconds later she came out and went to the kitchen to get a lemonade. Again, but this time with some attitude, 'What are you doing?' 'learning this dance move - don't worry I will get it' 'That's easy, I can show you' 'No, no - your busy and I wouldn't want to disturb you' 'But I can help you'
Bingo! Now she is trying to help me - not worried about her problems. So I show her a dance video and she helps me learn it (a dance I already knew how to do, lol).
'So, how was your day?' and now she just unloads all her problems and we were able to talk it out and hug it out.
Mean School Kids: 0
With Love Sugar,
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